Grateful

Christmas is often filled with emotion, anxious anticipation, and joy.  This year my Christmas has also included more feelings of gratitude for the gift of life and health.  One of my good friends, someone I see regularly, usually weekly, lost her mother suddenly earlier this month.  She is still reeling that her mother, just 66-years old, is really gone.  A nine-year old boy in our ward with a rare genetic disease that causes slowed growth, digestive, heart, and respiratory problems had open heart surgery a week before Christmas.  His recovery has been slow.  Another friend in the ward, an older lady that I love, and have served with in Relief Society, had quadruple bypass surgery two days after Christmas, and is struggling to heal.  Another friend was anticipating the birth of her third son on January 5, but instead this seemingly perfectly healthy baby passed away in the womb on December 23.  Life is so fragile and unpredictable!

Sometimes there are unanswered questions.  Sometimes life feels very unfair.  But, I rejoice that in the midst of grief, loss, anxiety, and fear, there is the Light of the World.  I feel such gratitude for the miraculous birth of Jesus Christ that brought a new star, and hope everlasting.  In the sorrows of life, even at Christmas time, there is a Prince of Peace.

Although my experience is only second-hand, I feel grateful for my association with each of these people.  The gospel plan, the Father's will, and principles of faith, hope, and charity are made more alive in difficult times.  The combination of the Christmas season, and friends who are hurting have made my own covenants more meaningful.  I have found joy in offering needed service, praying more earnestly for specific people with specific needs, and have found myself thinking of others more.  I am grateful for healthy children, a loyal companion, and the support of family.  I am grateful for the tiny life inside me, and a pregnancy without complications.  I am grateful to be a mother.  I am grateful for gospel perspective.  I am grateful for opportunities to feel something of what Christ has felt.  

Picnic in November

Yesterday, the high was 81 degrees, the low was 40.  We played outside for a good two hours, and had a picnic lunch in our shorts.  It was absolutely marvelous, though rather odd.  As of yesterday, we had had ZERO precipitation of any kind in October AND November.  The lack of moisture and string of perfect 70 degree days in the late fall has been glorious, though, certainly a little disconcerting.  We have been counting our blessings, and enjoying an unseasonably temperate autumn.  There has been much scooter and bike riding, park days, walks, hikes, and outside time that has all but made up for our rather bland summer (on account of my nausea).

For the record, yesterday, we looked like this:

Today, the high was 40 degrees and the low was 26 degrees.  The snow started at noon, and lasted all day.  There were sometimes 20-30 mph wind gusts that left us breathless.  A light snow cover now coats our flowers that were still blooming perfectly yesterday.  Moisture of any kind is most welcome!  I am grateful for the snow!  But, again, for the record, yesterday we had a picnic in the front yard in shorts.

Count Your Blessings

In an effort to curb a lot of exuberant Christmas "I want..." feelings, the kids and I found some 80% off fall decorations and had a family "I'm grateful for..." session.  It took a few minutes for the kids to catch the vision, but in short order they saw the fun in it and were fully engaged in counting their blessings on pumpkins.  Ezra was especially prolific.  And, he didn't want any help to think of blessings, or write them down.  I am impressed with his growing comprehension of letters and sounds.  He is not in kindergarten, and we are not doing a great deal of extra-curricular at-home lessons.  Here are some examples of his independent (motivated!) spelling efforts:

"Im grafl Grama Dens." (translation: I'm grateful for Grandma Denise)
"Im gratfl Gramu Rasln." (translation: I'm grateful for Grandma Roslyn)
"Im gratfr Prafit." (translation: I'm grateful for a Prophet)
"Im gratfr famle." (translation: I'm grateful for family."
"Im gratfr Gat." (translation: I'm grateful for God)
"Im gratfr Thgiven." (translation: I'm grateful for Thanksgiving.)
"Im gratfr Crismths."  (translation: I'm grateful for Christmas)

Miss Maren was also very engaged.  She very studiously filled her pumpkins with tiny chicken scratch markings, and then brought me each pumpkin and had me transcribe her efforts.  Her blessings, which were also all her original ideas, included such things as:

"I'm grateful for my heart blanket."
"I'm grateful for the color pink and purple."
"I'm grateful for toys."
"I'm grateful for my mom and my dad."
"I'm grateful for Kate and Coleman." (the neighbors on either side of us)
"I'm grateful for Mary (mother of Jesus)."
"I'm grateful for a good neighborhood."
"I'm grateful for our dirt."

This is us, counting our blessings.  It was a lovely way to spend an evening!

Fall Fun: Estes Park & Nederland

Fall is so beautiful in the mountains!  Earlier this month we took a drive up the canyon, enjoying the local visual delights of the season.  Our first stop, Estes Park, is home to a hearty population of elk that are somewhat accustomed to human visitors.  In a large central park, we carefully observed them--at close range!  Obviously, a male elk hierarchy exists in the herd.  We were entertained watching a large dominant male elk repeatedly drive off all other potential male suitors from his female group.

Panorama of Estes Park and Rocky Mountain National Park beyond.

Next, we followed the Peak to Peak highway south to Nederland where we strolled through town, followed the Boulder Creek to a park, and then played on the "beach" of a reservoir.  The kids were immensely happy to be outdoors, free to frolic in natural mountain spaces.  I love that they are so easily entertained.  Ezra found a small sandbar and claimed it as his and Maren's personal island.  They used drift wood to build structures for their "town", and collected interesting pebbles for fences.  Barefoot in the mountains, playing in water--they couldn't have been happier.

Contentment.

Halloween 2016

Happy Halloween!  The much anticipated kid favorite holiday was a great success this year.  We had our annual church trunk-or-treat soup pot luck on Saturday night, and then we indulged in a little more candy tonight and went trick-or-treating to about ten houses near us, mostly neighbors we knew personally.

Maren knew two months ago she wanted to be a princess, either wearing pink or purple.  Rapunzel (from the movie Tangled) was the perfect fit: purple sparkly dress, long blonde hair, free spirit.  She was darling!  Ezra had a more difficult time deciding, but ultimately chose the lesser known Robin after reading a few Batman-Robin comic books from the library.  Something about this more gentle, loyal sidekick appealed to Ezra, and luckily we found a costume because he would be Robin and no one else.

I really enjoy dressing up for Halloween; it's a great excuse to be silly/creative and act like a kid again.  My pregnancy and growing belly gave me an opportunity to try something unique.  The internet had a few ideas, but Halloween or not, many of them were kind of grotesque; bloody plastic baby limbs and head protruding from a shirt is not my idea of cute.  After a little research, I decided to go as a prize winning pumpkin, and Dallin,who likes dressing up, but likes to keep it simple, went as the proud pumpkin-growing farmer.  A quick visit to Hobby Lobby and in one-hour of create time I painted a pumpkin face with puffy paint on a plain orange shirt, made a blue ribbon from blue cardstock, and used some stiff felt and pipe cleaners glued to a headband for the pumpkin hat.  Costume was created for about $11!

Baby # 3

Here is our cutie boy in his first photo, all relaxed and cozy.  Our new baby boy is due to arrive in early February 2017.  He is making his presence known with lots of kicks and wiggles, enough now that Maren and Ezra can feel him.  Both kids are at least slightly aware of what is about to happen because several friends and family members have recently been pregnant and now have newborns or young babies.  Maren has told me she intends to "help the baby learn to pee, help him put on his underwear, wash him in the bath, and hold him softly," among other things.

After making the birthday posts on Ezra and Maren, and processing their many strengths and differences, it is fascinating for me to consider how our next baby will be alike, and also altogether different than the other two.  What a miracle this new little person is; I am so thrilled to meet him!    

Fall Fun: Witch Scavenger Hunt

At the end of September we drove to Utah for a long General Conference weekend trip.  One of the highlights was family time/cousin time.  Aunt Sarah recommended an afternoon excursion to a darling little eclectic shopping district dressed up for the Halloween season.  We went in search of 25 hidden larger-than-life witches scattered around, above, and between all the shops.  Sarah and her kids, Aunt Molly, Grandma, and our family had a lovely afternoon together on the lookout for witches.  Each child earned a cookie from a bakery in the village for completing the scavenger hunt.  Fun times!

Maren (3 yrs.), Judd (2.5 yrs), Camryn (5.5. yrs), Ezra (5 yrs)

We love Aunt Molly! (one of the witches on top the pumpkin)

Aunt Sarah and our newest cousin, Lena, with Judd & Camryn

Five under five!  I love this picture; what a lucky grandma!

Our group (plus Dallin--photographer), wandering through the village

Fall Fun: Apple Orchard

Our state is certainly not known for apple orchards; in fact, I think there are less than a dozen in all of Colorado, and probably less than three in our local area.  But, we found a wee (historic) one not too far from home, and made a Saturday morning visit.

The big draw for Dallin and the kids were the apple cider doughnuts they advertised, and we were not disappointed--melt-in-your mouth apple-spice goodness!  We also sampled some of their homemade apple cider, meet the farm animals, and took a hay ride.  For a few dollars you could feed carrots to the horses, I did, and had my entire hand engulfed inside the mouth of a horse, which included a good deal of horse slobber.  He-he!  Cheap entertainment!!

Quintessential red doors on a historic, renovated barn

We said hello to their chickens, turkeys, and peacocks

Fed the Percheron draft horses.  Everything about them is huge.

Hay ride through the orchard, including many heirloom varieties

Ezra: 5 years

It is birthday season here, and Ezra recently turned five, so forgive me for another in-depth look at my sweetie boy.

• Ezra is a thinker.  He is very much his father's son, and I can already see the engineer brain in him.  He loves reading books and learning new things.  He loves asking questions, and consulting the "ok Google" function on my phone.  He is a knowledge sponge; he has this insatiable need to know, and processes information with remarkable efficiency.  I can almost see the neat rows of boxes in his brain; I can imagine him filing away tidbits in carefully organized compartments for later recall.  Ezra also has a memory like a steel trap.  On a number of occasions he has said, "But Mom, don't you remember when..." and he will recall with great accuracy some random comment I made about this or that several months earlier.  Yea, that is my Ezra boy.  
• Ezra loves the truth.  Almost as much as he needs to know facts, he needs to know the reality of things.  The classic example is our heart-to-heart conversation last Christmas--when he was just four--about the reality of Santa Claus.  He had some disconcertingly intelligent questions about his modus operandi, and came to the conclusion after examining the facts, that Santa Claus was in fact, not real.  Often when we read a book or watch a movie, he will ask, "Did that really happen?"  "Is that really true?"  He asked that question after watching the animated movie Anastasia recently.  In basic terms, we discussed the real story of the Romanov family, the Bolshevik police, the Russian Revolution, and Communism.  He was fascinated.
• Ezra is confident in his interests.  At his five-year well check, the pediatrician asked him a number of questions.  Among them she asked, "Do you have friends at school?"  He immediately responded, "No I don't need friends, I like to do what I like by myself."  She was quite surprised, and said that most children at this age crave friends, and assume that everyone likes them.  Nearly all his school peers and church associates are enamored with super heroes and sports; Ezra hardly gives those genres a second glance.  He is the budding scientist, and continues to be fascinated with all things animal.  One of his favorite pastimes is studying the animal encyclopedia.  
• Ezra has serious focus.  Ezra can sit for an hour or more engrossed in a stack of books.  He will studiously fill whole notebooks of letters and drawings in a day.  And, when he is in the mood, he is neat, tidy, and organized; his bed and box of things is a favorite area to fix up and set right.  Today, for example, he filled a pint Mason jar with numbers written on miniature sticky notes.  He explained that the numbers represented money saved for the temple in China.  He was saving it up to give to the bishop so China could have its own temple, "And a church building too," he added, if there was enough left over.
• Ezra struggles with new or challenging tasks.  Ezra tends to shut down when things get too hard.  He has done that since he was a baby.  I think it is a control issue.  He likes to feel confident, and capable, and anything new or challenging tends to unravel him.  He is not driven by competition.  He will not dive into a new activity if he senses it is not safe or doable.  He is not a dare devil.  Better safe than sorry is how he likes to operate.  Maren tends to try new things before him.    
• Ezra is growing into the big brother role.  Recently, I saw a touching example of Ezra being the protecting older brother.  We went to a park, Ezra and Maren were having a lovely time playing together, and then two boys maybe seven and four showed up, and proceeded to claim all park property as their own, refuse access to various play structures, and yell, chase, and generally bully Ezra and Maren.  I was impressed with Ezra's calm reasoning.  From a distance I could hear him addressing the boys, "I think playing together is more fun than fighting.  I choose to walk away," and then he carefully led Maren away, who was cradled under his arm.  At another tense moment, Ezra rescued Maren and hugged her tightly, and said, "This is my best sister, and you can't scare her."  Yesterday while I was in the shower, Ezra took initiative and cleared the breakfast dishes, wiped the table, tidied the living room, and stacked all the library books.  Later, he gave me a little tour of his work, and said matter-of-factly, "Mommy, you can't do all the jobs anymore, I need to do them.  You have a big belly."  Cute boy!               

  

  His b'day request: pumpkin muffins with whipped cream & chocolate bunnies 

Maren: 3 years old

Maren turned three in August, and her birthday is a great time to record some thoughts about her.

• Maren loves to ride.  Maren got a three-wheeled scooter from her Grandma Denise as an early birthday present.  She loves her scooter like Ezra loves his bear, and that is really saying something.  Maren is off like a shot on her scooter as soon as the garage door opens.  She is her very happiest on her scooter.  Truly, the best part of her day is scooter riding.  She has absolutely no fear, flying here, there, and everywhere at lightening speed.  Maren has mastered the hip lean in order to turn, and looks like a real pro at parks.  She really turns heads: wavy blonde hair flying, princess helmet, often a big poofy skirt, pink clogs, and an Olympic smile as she whizzes up ramps, and through people, around obstacles, and back again to where I watch.  Again, and again she make loops, and comes back to me just long enough to say, "Mommy, this is the best fun ever!"  I love that she has found a true love, and can feel so free and happy in an activity.  Thank you Grandma!
• Maren is feisty.  It is her personality.  She is no push-over, and she doesn't have a passive, or even passive-aggressive response to anything.  If she has been slighted, she will make it known.  It is just a matter of course that my three-year old yells at me quite a bit in the course of a day.  I pick my battles carefully, because she is a fighter.    
• Maren is emotions-focused.  When Ezra and Maren get into a skiff, no matter the type of insult from her brother (pinch, push, bite, kick, mean words, stolen toy, etc.), Maren comes running with great sobs (because she is also quite theatrical), and exclaims, almost without exception, "Ezra hurt my feelings!"  I find this rather fascinating.  She has been using this expression for a good three months.  There may be pain involved, but it is always a feelings issue with her.  Her feelings have been damaged, and her emotional psyche is wounded.  I am intrigued that she has made that connection, and needs balm for injured feelings.  Ezra, as verbally adept as he is, just doesn't communicate about emotional injury.
• Maren is kind of dreamy, and lost-in-a cloud sometimes.  Schedule?  Time constraint?  Follow-through?  What?  Maren Marie, darling, darling girl that she is, has a really hard time with task completion.  "Maren, find your shoes," for example, can be a 20-minute endeavor because she forgets and/or gets distracted by more enticing activities.  Unless the task is directly related to going on a scooter ride, she has little motivation for things like "find clothes", "brush teeth", "clean room", etc.  Lately, her favorite things are princesses and ballerinas, and at times she spends hours doing mostly nothing with her princess things and singing to herself, very much absorbed in her own little world.                   
• Maren is very compassionate and tender.  Nearly every time I threw up during this current pregnancy, if Maren was in ear-shot, she would come running, rub my back, and bring me tissues.  "It's ok mommy, it's ok mommy," she would repeat again and again, staying with me until it was over.  At other random moments, at least once at day, Maren will come running and squeeze me in a tight hug and say with real conviction, "You're my best mommy ever!!"  Or "I just love you, you're my sweetie-heart."  
• Maren is strong.  Recently, at Ezra and Maren's well-child exams for their birthdays, they both needed a shot.  Ezra declared bravely, "I'll go first."  But, as soon as the needle came into view, however, he dissolved into violent sobs, and pleaded not to have to undergo such torture.  The nurse proceeded, Ezra howled and ranted.  Ezra was shaky, teary, and clingy for the next 30 minutes.  Maren, who was in the room to witness what her brother had just undergone, watched silently.  When it was her turn, she sat on my lap, squeezed my hand, and didn't make a peep.  Needle went in, not a whimper, not even a flinch.  In fact, the nurse paused, looked, and blinked mid-syringe in surprise.  Bandage was applied, and Maren, calm as ever, hopped off my lap, as if nothing whatsoever had happened, and then comforted Ezra in his pain.  She often gets up from scooter crashes without a sound and goes again.  When she does fall and skin a knee, she needs a kiss, a smile, a little squeeze, and then she is back to riding.
  

Well hello there...

After a three-month hiatus, I am getting back to the blogging.

My hiatus is due to a happy reason: I am pregnant with baby # 3 (!!!), which brings unhappy consequences on my normal life: nasty pregnancy nausea.  The good news is, at 18 weeks, I am feeling mostly normal, with the continued help of my nausea medication.

The saving grace of the summer was two awesome family reunions.  If it had not been for those two events, and a brief road-trip to Yellowstone/Grand Tetons, my family would have endured the most uneventful, lethargic summer of their lives.  (I was a blob in fetal position for three months, throwing up 3-4 times/day.)  As of about a week and a half ago, I started cooking dinner again, and eating it too!

So, without further ado, here are the highlights of our summer (it really was fantastic, all things considered!):

Family hike in Boulder--one of our most successful, and so beautiful.

Lazy afternoon in Jackson.  Met the locals.

The epitome of summer: homemade ice cream in Jackson park.

Awesome family photo with super awesome Tetons backdrop.

The children were amazing road-trippers!  Hip-hip-hooray!

Plenty of time to enjoy Grandma's new outdoor paradise.

Easy, shady waterfall hike in Utah, so nice!

Camping in Grandma's front yard!

Canyon hike with cousins, and Jared & Sarah (8+ mos. pregnant!)

Fun cousin time with Camryn and Judd.

The best possible cousin hangout: Grandma's Roslyn's hot tub.

Fourth of July: a perfectly wonderful 8 am-10 pm marathon day.

Water park day with cousins--super fun!

Water slide with mom, giggle, repeat!

Dallin was concertmaster at this beautiful outdoor venue...

...and the children frolicked in the grass

We went to the Fort Collins Temple open house as a family--twice!

New Start

This cute boy started preschool today.  He was definitely ready to go, and when it came time to say goodbye at drop-off time, Ezra sat at a table with three classmates he didn't know, and put on a brave face--no tears.  I made a quick exit!  His report when the day was done, "I'm in love with my new preschool Mom.  I want to go there forever."  Two thumbs up!

Maren loves...

One of my Maren challenges has been helping her find a favorite activity.  She dabbles briefly and loosely in dozens of things, but has no particular fancy.  As a mom, I am always in observation mode, hoping to help her find her fit.

She has dolls, and has even named a few of them, but usually gives them a little nod at bedtime, maybe a snuggle or two, and is done with them.  She has a trio of thin swaddling-type blankets that she chews on mercilessly, but only when she is sad and needs comfort.  She is entertained by Ezra's animal collection, but also thinks puzzles, trains, play food, the dollhouse, and books are equally interesting for short spurts of time on most days.

I have recently discovered a few activities she will do everyday: 1) swing 2) listen to music 3) hold a bug.

First, swing.  Maren will sit contentedly in a swing being pushed for at least 30 minutes.  I have on a compassionate day pushed Maren non-stop in a swing for an hour (have I mentioned my nicely formed bicep muscles?)  Sometimes when we go to the park, she will do nothing but swing.  We have a small play set/fort in our backyard, and she seeks every possible opportunity to swing there too. 

Second, music.  She loves when daddy plays the piano or violin, and she loves singing along to music.  Her most favorite Primary song is "Book of Mormon Stories" (p.118).  She knows all eight verses nearly flawless, and quotes the lyrics of the song whenever one of the characters is mentioned during scripture study time.  We have been reading about Ammon lately; any time his name is spoken, Maren spurts out, "...was a missionary serving Lamanites, tending King Lamoni's sheep for several days and nights."   Maren loves music!

Third, bugs.  I was a little surprised by her attraction to creepy-crawlies, but it makes sense.  We spend a great deal of time outside working in the yard, tending the garden, and frolicking in parks and other green spaces--and encounter bugs regularly.  She has no qualms with extracting worms, and cradling them in her hands or grabbing up roly-polys or ladybugs mid-stride.  Unfortunately, she tends to love her bugs to death, and they die a quick, painful death by an accidental young enthusiast.  She recently found an unsuspecting worm, which was quickly--and unintentionally--ripped in two.  She ran up to me grinning and excited, "Mommy, look!  My worm has a family now!"    

New Focus

Ezra has turned into a little writing machine lately.  We have starting buying small 5 x 8 lined pads of paper, and Ezra fills them by the armful every week.  During sacrament meeting if he has a pencil, a pad of paper, and words to copy, he sits completely engrossed for nearly the entire hour.

Here are some recent samples of transcription efforts:

"Fourth Book of Nephi"

"Jesus Christ"

"Temple, Lehi, Moroni, Nephi, Mormon"

I am delighted to say that this new obsession has come entirely from him.  I have never prompted him to practice writing, he seemingly all of a sudden had the desire, and has made diligent, independent efforts to improve.

Today he filled ten pages full of animal drawings with prices; it was a sort of pet shop catalog, and I was allowed to peruse the available options and make a selection.  Here is one page from his catalog:

This page features a bat for $100 (top left) or a leopard (bottom) for $110,000 (some other aquatic creatures bled through from the reverse).  For those with less disposable income, he offered more economical options, such as a parrot (left) or a sloth (right) for $10 each.

  I think he is perfectly darling, but most of the children his age aren't quite sure what to make of him.  But oh how we love him, with all his creative energy and love of learning!!