Sanctuary

After many years of working outdoors with the plant kingdom, I have a real need on a regular basis to breathe fresh air, touch something living, and hear the cadence of nature. Without that I start to feel like a caged animal. We have been very blessed in recent days with warmish winter sunshine, and I have gotten out on my walks again. Today was especially refreshing. I spent several hours at a nature preserve not far from home. I found incredible peace in the sound of the rustle of reed grass. I was able to study tree buds and seed pods and sit by a creek and listen to its gurgle. How grateful I am for this source of personal replenishment.

Manna

I've been thinking about my current jobless state and my seeming inability to find employment, even after six months of trying. True, my skills and talents are somewhat specialized, but I have branched out in my search to quite a variety of job possibilities, and still nothing. Mostly I want to figure out the "what am I supposed to be learning from this?" question. No grand revelations, but I have some initial thoughts that have been comforting.
During my seven years in Georgia I made several job changes, sometimes to improve my situation, sometimes to pursue more school, sometimes to take advantage of an opportunity. In every circumstance--the shift from one job to another, or from job to school--the transition was absolutely seamless. I literally would quit a job on a Friday and start a new one on a Monday. Or I finished my time at school and had a job lined up and waiting for me. I was single, I had no family nearby, and I had a legitimate need to be able to support myself. The miracle though, is how well my Father in Heaven took care of me.
The best analogy I can liken it to is the children of Israel and their manna from heaven. I felt over and over again in my Georgia experience that manna was simply laid before me, freely given from a merciful Father, and I only had to choose to pick it up.
So many of my initial experiences and connections with people became important a few years down the road in other opportunities and experiences. For example, the skills I gained in my first job were incredibly valuable as the grounds supervisor at the temple. My relationship with the professors at Gwinnett Tech made a huge difference in my graduate school application to the University of Georgia. If I had not been in the Mountain Park single's branch with President Heaton, I think my history would have been much different, especially in regards to the opportunity to work at the temple.
Because of all these experiences I have great faith in the fact that we are given those things that we need, at the time, and in the manner we need them. I was given my manna, and it was always sufficient for my needs, and it was always so perfectly bestowed. The timing of the gift was always the miracle for me. I recognize gratefully, humbly that I have been supported and uplifted and helped, especially in my employment, in ways too numerous to name. And, consequently, I have faith and testimony that if there is ever a legitimate NEED to work, I will again be likewise blessed. It appears that now is not a time of need.
I have confidence in these beautiful words. They have been true for me, they are true for me now, and as the song teaches, they will, in the future continue to be true.
My shepherd will supply my need; Jehovah is his name;
In pastures fresh he makes me feed, beside the living stream...
The sure provisions of the my God attend me all my days;
May thy house be mine abode and all my work be praise!
There would I find a settled rest while others go and come,
No more a stranger, nor a guest, but like a child at home.

(Trying to) keep it in perspective

The other night Dallin and I read in Matthew 23:23 about those who omit the "weightier matters of the law" and I was reminded of a talk I gave in my old ward from that verse. In my preparations, I had found some comments by Elder Oaks about means (or mortal methods) and ends (or eternal goals). He taught that when we focus solely on means we are in effect, omitting the weightier matters of the law. Our challenge is to not lose sight of the eternal goal, the desired end, by focusing too intently on the obvious earthly method. The weightier matters of the law are spiritual patterns, qualities, and attributes that move us strongly toward our eternal goals.
I have been thinking on this because I am struggling, as most every newly pregnant woman does, to remember the long-term purpose to all this current everyday grossness. Yesterday was horrid. (Yes, I am complaining). But then Dallin gave me a blessing, and it somehow seemed manageable. And I read Mara's blog and realized it could always be worse. And then friends started to hear the news and give their encouragement and congratulations, and I remembered that I am not alone in this season of life.
Becky Paget was one of the friends that wrote and among other things said simply, "It's worth it." I read that with tears rolling down my cheeks, but I read it with courage and faith that it is true. Another friend, Noella, wrote to tell me that she is also pregnant with her first and now in her second trimester, but was so sick during her first trimester that she actually lost weight. I also thought of my friend, Hitomi, who was sick for the entire nine months with her first pregnancy. And, so, I am counting my blessings.

Yesterday, I got out of bed, took a shower and got dressed. I cleaned the kitchen. I made dinner. And, really, that was about all. But, because I continued to breath in and out and try to eat food as best as I could, so did baby. My life is no longer just about me. Every time I breath, whether I feel disgusting or not, I am giving our baby time to grow. Hard as it is, that is the end I am trying to remember. The end that means I will be a mommy, now and through all eternity.

Reason no. 47

Dear Dallin,

One of the things I appreciated about you right from the start was your chivalry. I suppose your acts of gentlemanly behavior were carefully noted because I was beginning to think the art form was dead. From day one you opened my car door and helped me in and I remember thinking at the time, "Yes! This is what it should be like!"

And, I love you all the more that the chivalry wasn't just a show during our courtship, but is very much a part of your character. It is a manifestation of kindness and respect for me every time you open a door, or let me go first, or carry all the heavy stuff, or insist on washing all the dishes, or carrying up all the groceries, or dishing my food first.

Every night at dinner, you pull out my chair for me, when no one but the chair sees you do it. You know how it makes me feel? Like a queen! And I love you for it.

For always, Liezel

Meet Amos

I have a small, but growing, collection of children's books; I find a certain magic in their combination of captivating story and charming illustrations. My dream list includes (amongst MANY things) the plan to write and/or illustrate a book for children in my lifetime. And, to keep fresh inspiration around me, I own several and peruse the public library and bookstores for gems I might someday like to own. It should come as no surprise, therefore, that I asked for a book or two (with a list of five or six as ideas) for Christmas. What was a surprise, however, was that Dallin got everything on my list, plus a handful more! I have too many favorites to name, but would like to review just one new favorite.
A Sick Day for Amos McGee, written by Phillip C. Stead and illustrated by Erin E. Stead, is new as of June 2010 (first edition). Without even cracking the cover I knew it would be good. It has that whimsical, endearing kind of quality even at first glance. Page one introduces our main character Amos McGee--just look at him! He is that perfect sort of rosy cheeked sprightly little grandpa-man that adores his grandchildren and still keeps his roses pruned and his front porch neatly swept. I feel like I could write a page worth of character sketch on him just by looking at his delicately sketched face.
The story follows Amos, the kind, old zookeeper who tends to each animal with utmost care providing personalized attention. For example, Amos lends his handkerchief to the rhinoceros (who always has a runny nose) and sits quietly with the penguin (who is very shy). Amos's kindness is rewarded by his animals friends who care just as much for him as he does for them.
The illustrations are very simple, echoing the simple, but completely fresh story idea. I love the minimalist, but bold primary colors used only on key characters or action. The artist, Erin Stead uses pencil and applies color using woodblock printing, which further enhances the home-spun, approachable quality.
Aside from the main story line, we have lovely little details and just a touch of artistic embellishment. For example, Amos has a teddy bear and a pet mouse that you are never introduced to, but who appear throughout the book. (Little children would love to point out all the mouse sightings!) A little mouse is seen waiting at a miniature bus stop as Amos trundles off to work. A rabbit rides the number 5 bus to work with Amos. A little bird tags along with the zoo animals and, incidentally, becomes friends with Amos's pet mouse.
I think it is charming. And, I find it great inspiration. Happy reading!

If I Only Had Six: Kitchen Tools

We live in a world of abundance ("for there is enough and to spare"). But let's just say I had to pick just six kitchen tools and make do. What would I pick?

• Two-tier bamboo steamer: a recent discovery of mine that is very simple, efficient, and so easy to use AND clean. Steam meats and vegetables in 20 minutes or less in a healthy, non-labor intensive way. Rinse the layers when you are finished and let the bamboo air dry. Done. Easy as that.
• Food processor: the quickest easiest way to do guacamole, pesto, hummus, homemade salad dressings, mince ginger, garlic, etc., etc. I have also used it to mix cookie dough and puree pumpkin. Throw in the ingredients, push the button, wah-la!
  
• My super-duty red Rubbermaid spatula: I don't know what they do to it to make it so perfectly effective, but it does a better job than ANY spatula I have EVER owned. I can mix waffle batter, or bread dough, or pasta salad, or anything with this and then use it to scrape the bowl PERFECTLY clean. This particular tool certainly earns its name of "child cheater" because it doesn't leave even a morsel behind for little fingers to lurp up.
• Good old fashioned non-stick 12" skillet: I probably use my skillet five times a week. In fact, half the time I just pick it up from the pile of hand washed dishes from last night because it doesn't even have time to get put away.
• Measuring cups: When I cook I am usually a two glugs, season-to-taste kind of girl, but when I bake, it's a different story. I have had too many flops to do it otherwise. Hence, the measuring cups are essential. Dallin and I came into our marriage each with a set of nice metal measuring cups and there are times when I am on a baking spree that all eight cups are dirty.
  
• Cutco knife: I have been spoiled right from the get-go. We are lucky enough to own a set of Cutco knives and there is no going back now! But since this is a minimalist's kitchen, I would pick just the "petite carver", a medium size serrated knife with multi-purpose slicing/chopping/dicing/mincing ability.
  

Plant Psychology

So someday I'd like to have a greenhouse and/or a sun room, but right now I have one south facing window and a crowd of five plants vying for the best rays. And, in the last few weeks I have made some interesting plant observations that could almost be a fascinating study in human character (but then I'm a plant nerd and I read way more into these things than is practical.)

1. The Aloe vera purchased in July started with four fleshy leaves and was a scrawny 4" tall. I now have a beast with at least twenty appendages spiraling out in all directions that has grown to almost two feet tall. This plant literally grows a new shoot every week. I am not joking when I say I can see this one grow. Some plants have a serious will to live; give this one some occasional water and good sun and stand back.
2. The African violet also from this summer has made a nice comeback. I started applying a light liquid fertilizer every month and have been richly rewarded for my small efforts. Currently the little bloomer has twelve open flowers and fifteen buds (yes, I did just count!) Amazing. The existing twelve flowers opened the week of December 13 and on this day not a single one has even begun to fade. Amazing. I am grateful for a plant that has such super curb appeal and seriously exceeded my expectations.
3. My orchid is my lesson is patience. The little beauty still looks great. It has good light and routine fertilizer, but has grown only slightly and added only one or two little feeder roots in three months. I am grateful for its consistency.
4. In October I moved the geranium (Pelargonium spp.) from our borrowed outdoor garden plot to our apartment dining room. Since then it has followed an interesting course. When I moved it in it was incredibly happy and blooming like crazy with plentiful rich green leaves. Slowly, those flowers faded, but were not replaced with new blooms. Then, slowly it stopped growing. Then the nice deep green leaves started to shrivel and curl and drop. All the while I was tending and deadheading, and watering as needed. But, to no avail. The geranium seemed to be giving up. Little do I know! In the last week it has made a transformation. Instead of continuing to drop leaves and shrivel, the leaves that remained doubled in size and started reaching for the sunlight. They are a nice rich green and no other leaves have dropped since. I have an unsuspecting hero, a champion adapter, a tenacious fighter. (By the way, the pot fellow to the geranium was a lavender. It pooped out in week 2 of the move from outside to inside. All the more reason for a kudos to the geranium).
5. An avocado seed. Okay, so I have two lessons in patience. But, I know that it works, I know what to expect, so I can be patient. In Atlanta I grew an avocado from a seed and waited six months for it to germinate in a glass of water. (It works, it really does!) When my Atlanta avocado finally had some roots and a shoot, I planted it up and in time had a three foot tall indoor avocado plant. My current avocado has taken just as long, but at long last it has three beautiful white roots and two upright shoots. In the next few days I intend to plant it up.