As much as I would like to report that big brother is happy in his new status, he is not. I was hoping for a gentle older sibling to greet a sweet new baby sister with kisses and pats and smiles. My little Prince Ezra has instead become slightly tyrannical. Maren is either ignored, scowled at, or swatted at. If baby is within reach when Ezra is feeling frustrated, she becomes the object to vent his frustration. Maren is only safe in her crib with the door shut because--as of this moment in time--Ezra cannot turn doorknobs or climb into cribs.
On Tuesday we took our first family outing and found the new public libraries in the area. I had a children's librarian help me find any book describing the big brother-little sister adjustment. Ezra has taken to two of them. Daddy and I read them four times over in one sitting. But, so far, the positive message has not been internalized in his outward physical actions. We are hopeful. I pray all the time that Ezra and Maren will be friends. Ezra may be processing for awhile.
Interestingly enough, Bear has some kindly inclinations toward Maren. During his good times, Ezra will come to me with Bear and say, "Bear kiss baby head." And then Bear will softly touch Maren's head as Ezra makes a kissing noise. (I am curious what a child psychologist thinks of that behavior!)
So far, Ezra has refused to be in pictures with Maren. I was able to get a decent picture of Ezra, but only because I agreed to take a picture of Bear too. What would we do without Bear? He and Ezra have such a strange love-hate relationship, but for right now Bear is part of the glue that is holding Ezra's fragile psyche together.
5 comments:
I've heard it said, that in situations like this, if both children need attention, give it to the toddler, because the infant won't remember they had to wait.
And they will be friends later. As the oldest of nine, I know.
Ditto Jane.
Urmi's mom told Master P upon F's birth: "Give your attention to the one who will remember." Seems to be working, even now with F & S.
Oh, he's so cute!! Even if he's having a hard time.
I'm sorry it's hard--especially if you feel like Maren is in jeopardy sometimes. But I'm sure your prayers will be answered--as prayers usually are, through ideas and inspiration of things to do on your part and some grace poured in to help Ezra. And that's why we have hard things, because that's how we learn.
Besides, with such a sweet, amazing mother I'm sure he'll come and around and be fine.
The Bear part is very fascinating--and hopeful, don't you think?
Oh no! I hope things get better. This is something I'm worried about when baby #2 arrives.
Brenna
We loved the book What Baby Needs by Sears
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