Autonomy: Exercise 1

In the last week or so mealtime had turned into a fight between Ezra and me.  Ezra didn't want what I feed him, and hollering was his modus operandi.  The problem, though, was with me; I wasn't understanding his communication.

He isn't a little bird anymore.  Pureed foods on a spoon is old hat.  Ezra wants his independence.  He wants control over some part of his world, and meal time is at the top of his list.  I have caught unto his message, and baby and mommy have made peace again with food.

Ezra has three teeth (and another on the way) and he craves opportunity to use them.  Ezra is perfecting his thumb-pointer finger grasp, and he needs essential practice time to develop this new skill.  Now, instead of pureed foods, he eats baby bites of the whole food.  I put things like blueberries, watermelon, pears, cheese bits, cooked peas and carrots on his tray, and he feeds himself at his own pace.    

Lesson from the Garden

Good and bad exist side-by-side.  There must be opposition, even in the garden.  Take for example, our spinach leaves that have been sorely afflicted with spinach leafminer.  The eggs of said pest look innocent enough, but the insect that comes later ravages the leaves, making them inedible.  

Aphids, another common (voracious) pest, have started feasting on our dill.  But, never fear, alongside the pests, the beneficial insects have taken up residence too.  These tiny orange eggs are future lady bugs, who have arrived as a natural control for the undesirable aphids.

 

I am in awe of the intricate workings in the small ecosystem of our backyard vegetable garden!    

Nurture

Shortly before we moved out of our apartment community, I met our new upstairs neighbors--a beautiful family: mother, father, and two-year old daughter.  The husband worked at a company within walking distance and came home for lunch everyday.  The mother and daughter went on walks around the apartment community regularly.  One day, we happened to bump into each other, both out for walks with our little ones.  We shared some information about our children and our status as stay-at-home mothers.  From all face-value observations, it seemed that this was an incredibly loving, gentle, educated, stable mother.  Her next comment, though, really surprised me.  After summing up her role as mother, she added, "But really, I am just a babysitter."

I didn't know what to say.  How do you respond to that?  In fact, I have been mulling on it of and on ever since.

I started babysitting when I was eleven, and I think I did a pretty good job.  I brought games and books with me.  I was attentive and aware.  I followed bed-time regimens, and tried to leave the house cleaner than I found it.  Over the years, I had a few regular babysitting jobs, ones where I was called several times a month, sometimes every Friday night.  I suppose I had some attachment to those children.  But, it was still just a job, and not my full-time responsibility.

It could be very easy for me to think of myself in terms of babysitter.  I could, if I let myself, see my mothering as just mechanical fulfillment of needs.  Change diaper.  Feed baby.  Go on walk.  Read books.  Nap.  (start over)....The routine could become monotony, drudgery, and obligation.

As I have pondered my neighbor's comment, the word that keeps coming to mind is perspective.  Especially a long-term perspective, a wide-angle view, the big picture.  The answer is in The Plan of Happiness, which is a plan for families.  The Plan of Happiness is our long-term perspective.  It is how we understand where we came from, and why we are here, and where we are going.   With an understanding of those critical questions, family becomes infinitely more meaningful.  We can appreciate that we are created in the image of God, and have divine potential, and so do our children.  We can appreciate that we made a choice to come here for a season of testing with a physical body, and our children made the same choice.  We can appreciate that we are stewards and partners with God in loving and leading them.

I am impressed with this statement in The Family: A Proclamation to the World:

"Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."  

That single sentence is the only thing that is directed specifically to mothers.  Other parental guidelines are outlined, but only this one sentence for the role of mother.  Honestly, I don't exactly understand the how of nurturing.  I do appreciate a definition by Julie B. Beck, former Relief Society General President.  She defined nurturing as, "to help to make grow."  Nurture is ever so much more than a checklist.  Nurture goes beyond task, chore, or duty.  What does seem apparent is that to nurture requires time, patience, consistency, and diligence.

Nurture also implies that you have a vision of future potential.  If you nurture a plant, to help it to grow, then you must first believe in its potential to grow.  Why give careful attention to something that you doubt will become better?  Mothers who nurture their children believe in their children's divine worth.  They anticipate their greatness and future potential.  They seek inspiration in encouraging that potential.  Nurturing children is best accomplished in partnership with God; He who knows us best and loves us most.        

In all the rush, I forgot my brain

Here's the scenario:

Sunday morning.  I am running late for church.  Come bounding down the stairs with my scriptures in hand.  Husband and baby are patiently waiting outside.  I put my scriptures on top the car, and put baby in the car.  I get in the car.  We drive to church.  It isn't until we are at church that I remember why I can't find my scriptures.  We go in, husband and mother-in-law have a pow-wow and determine to leave part way through the meeting to go looking for lost scriptures.  They come back...empty-handed.  No luck, they looked everywhere.  The meeting ends and I am feeling incredibly stupid and sad for my carelessness.  Someone taps me on the shoulder, and hands me my scriptures, with hardly a scratch or speck of dust!  It turns out that this family lives in the same neighborhood as us, and they were running slightly more tardy than we were.  They came out of the neighborhood, turned onto the frontage road and were approaching the first stoplight when they spotted a set of scriptures in the middle of the road.  So, they did what any scripture-rescuing Good Samaritan family might do--they pulled a quick U-turn, and elected their eldest son to dodge traffic and nab the lost scriptures.  

So, it helps to have Mormon neighbors.  And God is in the details, and He is exceedingly merciful.  And I am very, very grateful. 

Singing in the Rain

Dear Colorado,

Thank you for the rain last night.  Granted, rain isn't really your forte, but thanks just the same.

Oh, you do a lot of other things well, like mountain vistas--very impressive.  And picturesque winter scenes--nice job.  Big sky sunsets, cool evenings, undiluted sunshine year-round, yes, kudos, you do it all well.

I must admit, though, for a dry Rocky Mountain state, the rainstorm wasn't half bad; I give it 7 out of 10 stars.  What?  Too harsh, you say?  Do you remember my roots?  I grew up with Houston downpours that are the poster child for "raining cats and dogs."  Don't forget my exposure to Iowa Tornado Alley hail, lightning and thunder storms, with green sky, and the works.  Atlanta knows rain: all-day long drenching flash flood-type rain.  Perhaps you could learn a lesson or two from your sister states to the east.

But, it was rain just the same, and a nice refreshing one at that; long enough to do some good, but not so harsh that it washed the flower beds away.  And, for what it's worth, this girl-in-love-with-the-rain went to bed with a happy heart.

Yours respectfully,
 Liezel

Tetris Success

One of the goals for our move-in was to store all of our unused stuff upstairs in the bedroom that Ezra is using.  We were trying to avoid adding clutter to the newly tidied basement or having to rent a storage unit.  

The organization was easier said than done, but it was done!  

Ezra's room is now one-half nursery...

 ...and one-half storage room.  

Luckily his room is just for sleeping and getting dressed, so I think the set-up will work fine for the next year.   

Story-time Conversations

One of my favorite times with Ezra is story-time.  Typically, he sits on my lap and I set a little pile of books on one side of me; finished books go in a little pile on the other side of me.  Our "little pile" is usually about four quick books, appropriate for the attention span of an almost nine-month old.  Story-time regularly includes mommy/baby conversations that go something like this:

Mommy: (finishing a book) "The end.  That's the end of the story."  (Book closed and put in the done pile).

Ezra: (looking earnestly at the completed book).  "Um."

Mommy:  "We finished the book; it's all done."

Ezra:  "Um." (somewhat anxious, pats the book, looks at me).

Mommy:  "Do you want to read a new book?"  (I pat a new book in the other pile).

Ezra: "Um."  (reaches for a new book, pats it, looks at me).

Mommy:  "We'll read this one, okay?"  (I pick up a new book).

Ezra: "Um." (settles back into my lap and waits expectantly).

This little conversation pattern repeats for each finished book and each new book started.  Precious!