"All This and the Gospel Too"

Earlier in the week I attended my first of a series of parenting classes offered at no charge by our public library.  The library has a perpetuating relationship with a child development resource center and preschool with dozens of trained teachers, social workers, therapists, and child psychologists.  Several of these professionals teach the parenting classes.  Library patrons are invited to register for the classes (geared for parents of young children), which occur once a month and continue for five months. 

The introductory course studied the importance of the words we speak to our children.  I often say to Ezra, "Use your words!"  This week the tables were turned as the instructor asked us to examine more careful our words as parents.  We discussed the idea of emotional deposits and withdrawals, and how critical positive feedback is for young children. 

We were invited to eliminate from our vocabulary phrases that are word negations.  For example, instead of "Don't run!", we can model what they can do: "Use your walking feet." or  "Stay with me." or "Hold my hand."  Instead of saying, "Stop whining!", she encouraged us to try phrases such as, "Use a calm voice." or "Talk so I can understand you."  We also discussed various ways to redirect a negative situation, such as if a child grabs a toy from a sibling, or refuses to clean up a mess, etc.

It was a lovely evening full of greater awareness and silent prayers to soak it in and try harder.  I left that evening with a lot of feelings.  I was comforted in knowing that my community supports my efforts as a mother, considers positive family relationships an asset to the community, and is willing to put words into action and offer free parenting support classes.  I felt grateful for more tools in the mommy tool-belt, based on sound research and personal experience.  But, most of all, I felt so much gratitude for the gospel of Jesus Christ, which enlightens every aspect of my efforts as a mother.

I know that my Father in Heaven cares very much about my efforts.  I know that a firm understanding of gospel principles taught and modeled in the home have incredible impact to change hearts and minds for the better.  I can't imagine being a mother without the guidance of the Holy Ghost, the counsel of modern prophets, and the scriptures as a guide.  I am not always sure I am doing the best things with my children on a day-to-day or hour-to-hour basis, but I am sure that "happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ" (see The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

One of my previous stake presidents in Georgia loved to quote a particular phrase of President Joseph F. Smith.  "All this and the gospel too," he would say to us, helping us to remember all our blessings.  As I left the parenting class this week, that little phrase kept replaying in my mind, "All this and the gospel too."  I feel so blessed.